Hollywood’s Rock-Sized problem

NEW YORK POST

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is one of Hollywood’s biggest stars—literally and figuratively. He’s got muscles the size of small countries, a smile that could blind a lighthouse, and a relentless work ethic that keeps him in an endless cycle of blockbuster films. If Hollywood were a high school, The Rock would be the jock who somehow lands a role in every school play, whether it makes sense or not. But there’s just one problem: He has an unparalleled ability to ruin every franchise he touches. Somehow, despite his track record of derailing beloved movie series, Hollywood keeps handing him starring roles like he’s the only actor with a gym membership. It’s almost as if studio executives see him and think, "You know what this long-standing, fan-loved series needs? More muscles and fewer plotlines."

Fast & Furious: The Family Destroyer

The Fast & Furious franchise was doing just fine before The Rock rolled in like a wrecking ball in Fast Five (2011). Sure, he brought new energy to the series as Luke Hobbs, the government agent who specializes in eyebrow raises and flexing through bulletproof vests. And yes, his introduction helped turn the franchise from a niche series about street racing into a full-throttle global blockbuster phenomenon. But at what cost? By the time Fate of the Furious (2017) rolled around, he had completely hijacked the spotlight. The franchise, once about a group of misfit street racers pulling off ridiculous heists, turned into a full-blown superhero saga where cars defy gravity, logic, and sometimes even physics itself. What started as a love letter to underground car culture became an action figure commercial with nitrous oxide.

But the real drama happened behind the scenes. Johnson’s feud with Vin Diesel became the stuff of Hollywood legend, with passive-aggressive Instagram posts, interviews dripping with shade, and reports that the two refused to be on set together. Diesel, the supposed heart of the franchise, found himself locked in a battle of egos with a man whose entire brand revolves around being larger than life. Instead of working things out, The Rock went the nuclear route, splitting from the main series to create his own spin-off, Hobbs & Shaw (2019). The result? A mediocre, over-the-top action flick that nobody really asked for, which led to delays and fractures in the main franchise. It was the cinematic equivalent of a messy divorce where one parent gets a new sports car, and the kids (in this case, the fans) are left wondering what the hell happened. The Rock didn’t just star in Fast & Furious—he nearly drove it off a cliff while smirking at the camera.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

Black Adam: The Superhero Nobody Wanted

Johnson spent years hyping up Black Adam as the future of the DC Universe. He promised it would “change the hierarchy” of DC films, a phrase he repeated so often it became a meme. It was the kind of overconfident marketing that made people either excited or deeply suspicious. Was The Rock about to revolutionize superhero cinema? Would he be the key to DC finally getting its act together? Spoiler alert: No. When the movie finally hit theaters in 2022, the only thing it changed was Warner Bros.' financial projections—because it bombed harder than a villain monologuing during a final fight scene. 

The film was a bloated, CGI-heavy mess that tried way too hard to make Black Adam a brooding, unstoppable antihero. Johnson, clearly believing he was the second coming of Robert Downey Jr., pushed the idea that he should be the face of DC’s future. He even strong-armed Henry Cavill’s Superman into a cameo, only for Warner Bros. to immediately scrap that entire plan after Black Adam underperformed. Imagine spending years campaigning to be the new face of a franchise, only for the studio to say, "Yeah, never mind." It’s one thing to ruin a single movie, but The Rock managed to derail an entire cinematic universe. That takes talent. Or hubris. Or maybe just a complete misunderstanding of what audiences actually want.

Jumanji: The Rock Turns Everything Into a Rock Movie

When The Rock was cast in the Jumanji reboot (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, 2017), fans were understandably skeptical. The original Jumanji (1995) was a childhood classic, a thrilling adventure about a mysterious board game that brought chaos into the real world. It had heart. It had danger. It had Robin Williams being his absolute best. And then Hollywood did what Hollywood does best: ignored all that and turned it into another generic Rock action movie. Instead of keeping the spirit of the original, the reboot became a video game spoof where Johnson played... well, himself. Sure, technically he was playing a nerdy teenager trapped in a muscular avatar, but let’s be real: It was just The Rock doing The Rock things. There were exaggerated eyebrow raises, over-the-top action sequences, and plenty of jokes about how absurdly strong he was. 

The film was a hit, so naturally, Hollywood did what it always does: churned out a sequel (Jumanji: The Next Level, 2019), which was somehow even lazier. By the time The Next Level ended, the franchise had fully transformed into a cookie-cutter Rock blockbuster, complete with jungle chases, big explosions, and zero connection to the magic of the original. If there’s a third Jumanji, expect it to have less adventure and more scenes of The Rock punching things in slow motion. It’s as if Hollywood took the classic Jumanji concept and said, “What if this, but with more protein powder?” So... How Does He Keep Getting Work? Despite all this, Dwayne Johnson remains one of Hollywood’s most bankable stars. Maybe it’s his insane charisma, his dedication to social media marketing, or the fact that every movie studio wants a slice of the "Rock brand." He’s like the cinematic equivalent of fast food: predictable, mass-produced, and somehow always in demand, even if you know it’s not going to be that great. No matter how many franchises he absorbs into his orbit, studios keep lining up to cast him, hoping that maybe—just maybe—this time it’ll work out differently. 

EURONEWS

So... How Does He Keep Getting Work?

The real question is: When will Hollywood learn? The Rock doesn’t just join franchises—he takes them over, bends them to his will, and ultimately leaves them worse than he found them. He’s like a cinematic parasite, feeding on established IPs before jumping to the next big thing. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he announces he’s joining the Star Wars universe as a Sith Lord who bench presses X-Wings or shows up in a Harry Potter reboot as a jacked-up Hagrid. If that happens, I’m personally leading a petition to get him permanently banned from Hollywood. Until then, enjoy watching your favorite franchises get Rock’d into oblivion. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.